Everyone get the same 24 hours in a day, yet it seems like some people are “more” in some ways. There is an invisible measurement in our society to indicate physical appearance, the level of intelligence, ideal weight and height to an extent that some people seem to have “more” than others. We need to wake up and realize that these ideas are not natural. It is created through what we see and what we hear every single day. When I was 10 years old, I only knew someone is as not as attractive as I thought through other’s opinion. In a country where I came from, I was taught to put more value on my friend who always step on the first rank in class as compared to my classmates whose grade are just average but has a unique talent in dancing or painting. The question is, who set this up? Who says that this is true?
We have seen and heard many stories about very successful people in the world. Accomplishment is graded higher as the individual itself. We are living in the world who is saying “without a certain degree, talent, and position, you are nothing”. I agree that these stories would motivate us at some point but let’s be honest that these kinds of stories also leave us to feel insignificant, hopeless and insecure. Unconsciously, we draw our attention and energy that we could use to maximize our own potential into questioning our own ability. We focus too much on how it looks from the outside and see it as awesome and impossible to reach. Remember, they also have struggles, sleepless nights, and most importantly they are surrounded by people who continuously support them.
For every beautiful individual who read this, let me tell you that everyone of us is unique. We have something within ourselves to complement each other, to sustain this life. We all lead our own path and there is no fixated formula on how we end up. When we fall, it does not mean we fail. What we have to do is rise up, straighten our crown and keep going. Let us invest our time wisely because in the end, we need to finish our own race. How do you spend your every second, matters.
Be kind and gentle in your words even in the midst of anger
Because some words can only be forgiven but not forgotten. Let your words define who you are by speaking what is necessary.
Never explain how your suffering is greater when someone in front of you who need to vent
Because it takes a lot of courage for a person to be vulnerable, and when they do please let the spotlight be on them this time.
Take ownership of your pain
Because no one would take a responsibility for you, even if you think they should.
Have your curiosity alive
Because even a lifetime is not enough to know everything.
Do not judge
Because you have never been on their path. Remember, you have a past too.
Because knowledge is a power.
Never take anyone for granted
Because when they found out, you will lose a person with a genuine kindness towards you. In case you do not know, these kinds of people are rare nowadays. Keep them and love them.
Because that is exactly the person you will live with for the rest of your life.
Because the best feeling in the world is earned by sharing with others.
In the beginning of 2016, I decided to write down my new year’s resolution differently. I wrote boldly “It is okay to fall, to break and to feel the pain one more time. These things won’t kill you like it never did.”
In life, we all face betrayal, dishonesty, heart breaks after heart breaks to the degree that we cannot trust anyone completely. Sometimes, it even caused by the person we truly care about and when they go, they take away our dreams, values, and self-confidence with them. For some of us, it takes years to mend the wound. It is traumatic. We do not even realize that it shapes us into a whole new different person. I said ‘new’ because we are not going to be the same person anymore after all that has happened. The worst thing about it is, we cannot prepare ourselves for it. It still comes, even we do not want it. Mercilessly.
One of the wise men I know once said ‘Things come and go and I believe it is for the best.’ It is easier to be said than done but that word helps me to feel better. A good thing about pain is it provides you with the strength you need for the next challenge. Be present in the healing process, breath, absorb the emotion to the very bones and let the pain take away all of our tears. That is how we know that we are unbreakable. I have read an inspiring word from one masterpiece that has been forgotten. It said, “A beautiful person does not just happen, it is shaped and nurtured.”
Circumstance will not always be in our favor, and most of the time, it doesn’t. We do not have a sufficient power to control our surroundings to be all good all the time, but certainly, we can decide either to give in or to stand firm. Let the lesson teach us what we need to learn and let us take an advantage of wisdom that it leaves us with.
In the end, just like a shell that survives the pain, you will be rewarded with a beautiful pearl. It called soul.
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