Be kind and gentle in your words even in the midst of anger
Because some words can only be forgiven but not forgotten. Let your words define who you are by speaking what is necessary.
Never explain how your suffering is greater when someone in front of you who need to vent
Because it takes a lot of courage for a person to be vulnerable, and when they do please let the spotlight be on them this time.
Take ownership of your pain
Because no one would take a responsibility for you, even if you think they should.
Have your curiosity alive
Because even a lifetime is not enough to know everything.
Do not judge
Because you have never been on their path. Remember, you have a past too.
Because knowledge is a power.
Never take anyone for granted
Because when they found out, you will lose a person with a genuine kindness towards you. In case you do not know, these kinds of people are rare nowadays. Keep them and love them.
Because that is exactly the person you will live with for the rest of your life.
Because the best feeling in the world is earned by sharing with others.
In the beginning of 2016, I decided to write down my new year’s resolution differently. I wrote boldly “It is okay to fall, to break and to feel the pain one more time. These things won’t kill you like it never did.”
In life, we all face betrayal, dishonesty, heart breaks after heart breaks to the degree that we cannot trust anyone completely. Sometimes, it even caused by the person we truly care about and when they go, they take away our dreams, values, and self-confidence with them. For some of us, it takes years to mend the wound. It is traumatic. We do not even realize that it shapes us into a whole new different person. I said ‘new’ because we are not going to be the same person anymore after all that has happened. The worst thing about it is, we cannot prepare ourselves for it. It still comes, even we do not want it. Mercilessly.
One of the wise men I know once said ‘Things come and go and I believe it is for the best.’ It is easier to be said than done but that word helps me to feel better. A good thing about pain is it provides you with the strength you need for the next challenge. Be present in the healing process, breath, absorb the emotion to the very bones and let the pain take away all of our tears. That is how we know that we are unbreakable. I have read an inspiring word from one masterpiece that has been forgotten. It said, “A beautiful person does not just happen, it is shaped and nurtured.”
Circumstance will not always be in our favor, and most of the time, it doesn’t. We do not have a sufficient power to control our surroundings to be all good all the time, but certainly, we can decide either to give in or to stand firm. Let the lesson teach us what we need to learn and let us take an advantage of wisdom that it leaves us with.
In the end, just like a shell that survives the pain, you will be rewarded with a beautiful pearl. It called soul.